Wednesday, 28 April 2010

I'm finally losing it.

That's it.

I've had enough.

I'm losing it.

Not my mind (that went awol yonks ago) but the pounds.

Yes, I have signed up to a weight loss programme.

Eww, even saying it out loud makes it sound all American and cheesy. Not too much cheese mind, that's fattening.

I've never done a proper plan before, I always thought all that weighing yourself in front of people would be embarrassing more than motivating.

I had visions of a Little Britain style Marjorie Dawes leader shouting 'Come on fatty, time to ditch the baby blubber'.

But I've had enough of wearing clothes I don't like just because of excess squishy bits.

The Goddess may only be four months, and I didn't put on tons of weight with her, it's just the accumulative effect of three kids in a relatively short space of time has racked up.

So starting as I meant to go on I went for a quick power walk with a pal, and strode into the local community centre for the big weigh in.

My friend was nervous because she had lapsed a few weeks and I was nervous because, well, I didn't really know what to expect.

As I stepped onto the scales and looked at my weight in black and white, I felt a bit odd. Or sick to be precise. Crikey! I have got a bit more to lose than I realised. Ok, a LOT more. Hmm possibly, a whole Cheryl Cole.

Somebody pass me a biscuit quick!

As I don't own scales, the weekly weigh in is going to become a big deal every week.

Another friend who is also trying to make herself smaller gave me some very useful advice.

1. Go to the meeting. Every week. Even when you think you've put on.

2. Pasta - don't eat it the day before you weigh in. It is a BEAST of heaviness.

3. Don't wear jeans for weigh in - they're 3lbs of depression.

4. Don't have anything in the house that's not part of the plan.

5. Make a shopping list each week and STICK TO IT.

One, two and five are straight forward. Number three will be easy as I haven't worn jeans since I had Minxy. Number four will be hard because the kids like biscuits.

And so do I. Oh.

I was lamenting about my task to a school mum who diplomatically said: 'But your face is very slim.'

Sadly, I can't wear skinny jeans on my face.

Hmmm, this is going to be a real challenge and I'm totally up for it.

Goodbye maternity clothes and hello hot mama.


  1. I'm too chicken to do anything like this! Although I know I could really do with doing it. I have some scales but I've never been on them!

    Good luck with it all.
    CJ xx

  2. Hilarious and inspiring. Like you, I'm slim but with squishy bits, i.e the tummy because I had two c-sections in less than 2 years and hadn't lost the tummy first time round. I can take no more. I've actually agreed to go jogging and will be doing Wii Fit each day. I'm a size 8 with a tummy and it's getting ridiculous as like you, I wear to disguise so I'm wearing stuff I'm not that fussed about. Good luck!

  3. Good on you for going along. Best of luck hun xx

    Willpower is not my strong point although I can be stubborn with other things sometimes I just want cake! lol

    I'm sure you can do it. Keep us posted with how your getting on.

  4. LOL! Hilarious post - 'hmm, possibly a whole Cheryl Cole'! Good luck with it and with biscuit avoidance. They're evil little critters them and sneak up on you when you're not looking.

  5. You can do it! You can do it! The rules are really good ones. So the kids don't get biscuits for a while. Give them fruit on skewers to make them fancy (no, they might poke they're eyes out; not a good idea). Keep us posted. I have lost 17lbs in the last 6 weeks by changing my eating completely. No dieting at all. It took a bit to get me to the place to do it but it's working well. Another Cheryl Cole to go though :)

  6. Wow! 17lbs, that is incredible. Ok, I'm convinced will repeat a variety of PMA mantras in the mirror from this day forth.

  7. Good on you for biting the bullet (well, I hope you are not that hungry to ever do that). And good luck with it all. Just don't overdo it. Otherwise you might be of Malnourished Monday fame soon ;)

    PS: Skinny jeans on your face? Hahahahaha

  8. Hello, hot mama! Wishing you well. (And thin!) Keep us posted.